Transit Buddy: Apply Now
Life in the fast lane: that's what I want. And you can help me get it.
Yes, you, casual reader. You could make a difference to the life of one special, slightly dimwitted individual. Me. And it's oh-so simple.
The freeway here in Brisbane has what's called a Transit Lane. What is it? It's a third lane on the freeway that's always clear of traffic. However, only cars with two or more occupants are permitted to use it, which rules me out. I drive alone.
See, that's where you come in.
I need what I call a 'Transit Buddy'. Your job as Transit Buddy will be to sit in the passenger side of the car on my way to and from work, thus enabling me to travel in the hallowed Transit Lane. It's an easy job. You just get yourself to my place at 8am. During the drive to work you can listen to me recite Shakespeare and yell obscenities at other motorists. Don't touch the air conditioner.
Then you occupy yourself at my work for 8 hours, and have yourself ready for our return journey on the Transit Lane. Did I mention there's no pay? Well, there's no pay. But you get to spend 30 minutes a day in my presence, and that has got to count for nothing. I mean something.
Plus, you can share in the feeling of superiority as we speed past the poor unfortunates trapped in the clogged lanes. I'll only charge you $10 a day for that privilege. Did I say per day? I meant per minute.
Apply now.
Yes, you, casual reader. You could make a difference to the life of one special, slightly dimwitted individual. Me. And it's oh-so simple.
The freeway here in Brisbane has what's called a Transit Lane. What is it? It's a third lane on the freeway that's always clear of traffic. However, only cars with two or more occupants are permitted to use it, which rules me out. I drive alone.
See, that's where you come in.
I need what I call a 'Transit Buddy'. Your job as Transit Buddy will be to sit in the passenger side of the car on my way to and from work, thus enabling me to travel in the hallowed Transit Lane. It's an easy job. You just get yourself to my place at 8am. During the drive to work you can listen to me recite Shakespeare and yell obscenities at other motorists. Don't touch the air conditioner.Then you occupy yourself at my work for 8 hours, and have yourself ready for our return journey on the Transit Lane. Did I mention there's no pay? Well, there's no pay. But you get to spend 30 minutes a day in my presence, and that has got to count for nothing. I mean something.
Plus, you can share in the feeling of superiority as we speed past the poor unfortunates trapped in the clogged lanes. I'll only charge you $10 a day for that privilege. Did I say per day? I meant per minute.
Apply now.
I think by 8am I will be chained to my own version of helldesk, so thank you for the offer but I must decline.
And try driving I mean parking on the Ipswich motorway each morning, we dont even *have* a transit lane.
Posted by
Rom |
3:53 PM
yes please, it sounds very cheap for a proper guide of the transit lane, i'm willing to pay if you know every single detail about the transit lane that a tourist could want to know.
Posted by
Anonymous |
4:10 PM
I'll give you $6.80 and you can get on a big box with wheels and be transported on that special road beside the S.E. Freeway designed for big boxes on wheels.
Posted by
Huggies |
8:15 PM
Why not get an inflatable doll and put it in the passenger seat. I'm sure you won’t get any funny looks.
Posted by
Citizen_Stu |
2:00 AM
I think that the commute to yours from mine might be a bit too much. I'm all with the blow up doll idea. I think the more comical you make it the less chance you have of being fined surely?
Posted by
matt of comooxdom |
2:49 AM
Hmmm, that is a very tempting offer. I do miss sitting in a car on the freeway. But I usually get over it by looking at all of the plebs stuck in cars on the freeway while I glide (ok, rattle) past on the bus.
So smug for one so young, I know.
Posted by
Sherd |
5:09 PM
Rom - I do pity you on the Ippy motorway. You need to buy a helicopter I think.
Flicka - I think I could cover everything you need to know about the transit lane very, very quickly. :p
Stu and Matt - the inflatable doll sounds like fun. I could dress it in a balaclava. That would get some atttention.
Huggis and Sherd - the Busway is an option, but after my experience in this entry, you can understand my reluctance. ;)
Posted by
Bonestorm |
6:47 PM
Would my big teddy bear do?
Posted by
ChickyBabe |
7:29 PM
Ah Sherdie has the right idea - it's very satisfying watching the unwashed masses in a 2km pile-up on the Ipswich motorway as I go right on by on my train >)
Posted by
MadameBoffin |
12:58 PM