Bus of Death
It seems as though I'm being relocated from the city to the burbs for work and so my bus travelling days are coming to an end. This reminds me of a particularly harrowing bus trip last month.
I'm not sure if the bus driver in question was new, a former Nascar driver, an escaped mental patient or a combination of the above. Whatever the case, he had serious issues.
The first thing I noticed was that he couldn't work the doors. At stops, there'd be people waiting to get out at the back door, and he'd open the front. When people waited at the front door for entry, he'd open the back. After one lady seeking exit at the back door repeatedly mashed the bell to get his attention, the door jerked open. As she went to step out, it whammed shut again, pinning her like a gerbil in a rat trap.
At this point I decided smashing a window might be my safest way to get out of the bus alive.
Even worse, he had a lead foot. After each stop, he'd ease the bus forward for the first hundred metres or so. Then he'd hit the afterburners, leaving passengers clinging for railings and handholds, and in many cases, sprawling backwards down the bus. He'd annouce this manoeuvre with a cheery 'Moving now!!'
As we approached stops, he'd temper his breakneck speed by shouting "Brakinggg!!" and slamming on the brakes. Once again this resulted in passengers lurching forward and toppling over one another. At one stop I saw an old lady tottering down the aisle, unable to arrest her momentum. I'm not sure where she ended up because she never came back.
At each stop the driver would wave happily into the mirror, shouting "Goodnight folks!" Unfortunately, my stop is the last on the route, so I received a prolonged taste of his driving and door-opening techniques. When it came time to leave, exiting the door was like psyching myself up for a bungee jump. Except there's less chance of dying on a bungee jump.
Petrol prices may be shocking at the moment, but it's times like these that make me glad to be going back to my car.
I'm not sure if the bus driver in question was new, a former Nascar driver, an escaped mental patient or a combination of the above. Whatever the case, he had serious issues.
The first thing I noticed was that he couldn't work the doors. At stops, there'd be people waiting to get out at the back door, and he'd open the front. When people waited at the front door for entry, he'd open the back. After one lady seeking exit at the back door repeatedly mashed the bell to get his attention, the door jerked open. As she went to step out, it whammed shut again, pinning her like a gerbil in a rat trap.At this point I decided smashing a window might be my safest way to get out of the bus alive.
Even worse, he had a lead foot. After each stop, he'd ease the bus forward for the first hundred metres or so. Then he'd hit the afterburners, leaving passengers clinging for railings and handholds, and in many cases, sprawling backwards down the bus. He'd annouce this manoeuvre with a cheery 'Moving now!!'
As we approached stops, he'd temper his breakneck speed by shouting "Brakinggg!!" and slamming on the brakes. Once again this resulted in passengers lurching forward and toppling over one another. At one stop I saw an old lady tottering down the aisle, unable to arrest her momentum. I'm not sure where she ended up because she never came back.
At each stop the driver would wave happily into the mirror, shouting "Goodnight folks!" Unfortunately, my stop is the last on the route, so I received a prolonged taste of his driving and door-opening techniques. When it came time to leave, exiting the door was like psyching myself up for a bungee jump. Except there's less chance of dying on a bungee jump.
Petrol prices may be shocking at the moment, but it's times like these that make me glad to be going back to my car.
Thanks Whitney. Bad luck with the salad... I think this leaves us with only one option - throw on a balaclava, head to the restaurant and demand the recipe at gunpoint. :p
Posted by
Bonestorm |
12:27 PM
Haha! Boston is full of nutty busdrivers like him! :D
Posted by
Anonymous |
3:22 PM
Was he wearing what looked like a white jacket with very long sleeves?
Posted by
Citizen_Stu |
9:42 PM
I hate bus drivers (no offence to anyone who is one.) They think that because they are in control of a vehicle with lots of people in that they are king of the world. They're not airline pilots!
I've had many an argument when asking the driver to let me off when stuck in traffic and not moving. In the past i've had to wait 15 minutes to move 100 yrds to the next stop before he'd open the doors. Tosser.
Posted by
matt of comooxdom |
10:18 PM
I'm not sure if I'm relieved or concerned that bus drivers are like this all over the planet... :)
Posted by
Bonestorm |
9:52 AM