Me vs the Invisible Psychic Dog
Ok I have a problem. Usually I'm pretty self-sufficient, I sort out my problems myself. But this one has me at my wit's end. See, there's this dog.
Wait a minute, let's back up.
I have an mp3 player that I listen to on my way to and from work. This is a handy little device as it not only pipes music into my brain but also shuts out all of the other garbage that tries to get in. Like the odd smell emanating from the 150kg guy who just sat down next to me on the bus, or the fact I've been waiting for 17 minutes for a break in traffic so I can cross the road. The music is a kind of insulation that keeps me from reflecting too much on stuff that would otherwise start ruining my day.
So on my route home, there's a fence next to a walkway. As usually happens when I'm in my music coccoon, I'm oblivious to almost everything else that's going on around me. That's where the dog comes in.
See, the dog lives behind the fence. I never see the dog. But I hear it, because it is loud. It crashes through the music coccoon like a bull through an ice sculpture and scares the absolute shit out of me. I can only imagine how it looks every afternoon as I go skittering sideways across the footpath like a horse on roller skates.
Initially, it happened about 4 times in a row. Every day I was back in the music coccoon, forgetting everything else around me, and every time I reached the fence I'd get my sudden, abrasive welcome from the invisible dog. Conditioning eventually kicked in, and by the 5th day I was ready for it. I approached the fence, music blaring but aware of the dog, only to have the dog remain silent and aloof. The same thing happened the next day.
The day after that, I was back in the music coccoon. And you guessed it, my vociferous friend returned for an encore.
This pattern has gone on for weeks. I consciously think of the dog, and it doesn't show. I forget about it, and it barks and scares the living shit out of me. I can only conclude one thing, that the dog is not only invisible, but psychic as well. It knows what I'm thinking. I'm a pawn in it's little game of self indulgent scaremongering.
Either that, or this is all in my head. That's probably a more reasonable alternative.
Wait a minute, let's back up.
I have an mp3 player that I listen to on my way to and from work. This is a handy little device as it not only pipes music into my brain but also shuts out all of the other garbage that tries to get in. Like the odd smell emanating from the 150kg guy who just sat down next to me on the bus, or the fact I've been waiting for 17 minutes for a break in traffic so I can cross the road. The music is a kind of insulation that keeps me from reflecting too much on stuff that would otherwise start ruining my day.
So on my route home, there's a fence next to a walkway. As usually happens when I'm in my music coccoon, I'm oblivious to almost everything else that's going on around me. That's where the dog comes in.
See, the dog lives behind the fence. I never see the dog. But I hear it, because it is loud. It crashes through the music coccoon like a bull through an ice sculpture and scares the absolute shit out of me. I can only imagine how it looks every afternoon as I go skittering sideways across the footpath like a horse on roller skates.
Initially, it happened about 4 times in a row. Every day I was back in the music coccoon, forgetting everything else around me, and every time I reached the fence I'd get my sudden, abrasive welcome from the invisible dog. Conditioning eventually kicked in, and by the 5th day I was ready for it. I approached the fence, music blaring but aware of the dog, only to have the dog remain silent and aloof. The same thing happened the next day.
The day after that, I was back in the music coccoon. And you guessed it, my vociferous friend returned for an encore.
This pattern has gone on for weeks. I consciously think of the dog, and it doesn't show. I forget about it, and it barks and scares the living shit out of me. I can only conclude one thing, that the dog is not only invisible, but psychic as well. It knows what I'm thinking. I'm a pawn in it's little game of self indulgent scaremongering.
Either that, or this is all in my head. That's probably a more reasonable alternative.
I once used to walk passed a hedge with a dog that must have smoked 50 cigarettes a day. It sounded massive. After about a month of being scared shitless by this dog I finally saw it. It was the smallest little mogrel dog I'd ever seen. I was cool after that. Not invisible though!
Posted by
matt of comooxdom |
8:12 PM
Lol, I guess it's true... size doesn't matter.
An update on this from last Friday - it got me again!! It moved further down the fence this time, so I thought the danger had passed by the time it sounded off. How foolish I was... :p
Posted by
Bonestorm |
10:06 AM