Vandalism. It's not in my neighbourhood, or my street. It's inside my very house. The perpetrators? Two adolescent punks who think they own the place.

They go by the names TJ and Ash. Being 3 years old, you wouldn't think they could do much harm. But they do. The vandalism of which I speak isn't of the spray can variety, but spraying is certainly involved. Lots and lots of spraying. So much spraying, in fact, that I wonder how large the bladders of these cats can be. I have a picture in my head of their anatomy - there's a stomach, and a bladder, and that's all. They are basically furry water balloons.

It started a month or so back and I wasn't too concerned. The first target that came to our attention was one of Ms B's pot plants. Heck, I may have even applauded the aim on that one. But then things got serious. My cd rack was sprayed. Soundgarden through Tea Party copped it, as did U2 through Unida. Miraculously my special edition Tool cds were spared. They were immediately moved to higher ground, a shelf out of reach.

Then came my computer keyboard. What a lovely surprise that was as I sat down for a game of Counter Strike.

Trying to find the answer to why this suddenly began is exceedingly difficult. A quick google will tell you it's: their age; being outside too much; not being outside enough; how much Oprah they watch; the feng shui positioning of their food bowls; the number of professional jugglers that reside in the residence; or insert your own reason here.

We think we have narrowed it down to a furry visitor from next door bothering them. Closing windows, blinds, isolating them for periods of time seems to have lessened the frequency. At the moment it's tolerable. But there is still a nagging apprehension I can't shake.

I just know they're going to find a way up to those Tool cds.

Posted by Bonestorm on Thursday, June 15, 2006 at 9:30 AM | Permalink